What's in Your Hand?

What's in Your Hand?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sea treasures. His treasures.

Today was an unusual Sunday. Steve had gone to an early church service and was then going out in the kayak. I worked at the Post Office for a few hours then went to church. After church Gretchen and Jon did not need me to babysit.The sun was shining and I had nothing pressing to do.
According to books and websites Nags Head, NC has some of the best seaglass hunting on the east coast. I live just ten miles from these beaches but I have never been very successful in the hunt here. I think maybe Jacmel Bay in southern Haiti has spoiled me for any other beach.But I wanted to find something and I knew it was there. So I searched. I found lots of pretty shells and a few stones that I picked up thinking "I may be able to make something with this. It's pretty. It's worth keeping." And I slipped them into my canvas shopping bag. Living in Dare County, NC we all carry these bags in the trunks of our cars..No plastic bags to gag our fish. These bags come in handy for lots of things. Today the bag was used to collect ocean treasures.
The water was clear and blue today. When I dipped my toes in the surf I was surprised that there was no sting of cold. My rolled up jeans came unrolled and I just let them. Tourists were there. How did I know they were tourists? People who live here do not wear bathing suits on the beach on May 1st and shiver. We wear sweatshirts and rolled up jeans. As I walked, and walked, I talked and talked, in my head, to God. I asked Him for treasures. I told Him I would not be greedy. I asked Him what He wanted me to know about the search this day. And this is what He told me:
I search because I know the treasure is there. How do I know? I have found it before and others have too. He told me that sometimes in life we find other treasures that are not really the ones we are looking for. These treasures are worth finding and picking up and keeping but they are not totally satisfying. So when I found a pretty shell or stone it was like an inspirational story that gives me some understanding or helps me to see the world around me. Like a Chicken Soup for the Soul kind of treasure. Nice but not enough. I also understood that because I am a Christ follower it does not mean that there is no value in the teachings of non-Christians. Some things are worth picking up. Other things are better left on the shoreline. But I know what I am looking for and I continue my search.
Finally nearly ready to give up the search for today it catches my eye. A tiny hint of green in the shallow surf.I have to keep my eye on it as the wave gently laps over my treasure and threatens to steal it back to the sea. Jeans wet to the knees I go after it. A tiny perfect nugget! Success!! And God tells me sometimes you must go further, look harder and not be afraid to get wet.
For a moment I thought..."Time to go." But I didn't want to! Having a little success while exciting and satisfying called me to keep on searching..there was more treasure waiting for me. And I found more..two browns, a clear and then I FOUND IT! the largest piece I have ever found this side of Haiti. There it was! Perfect, beautiful, smooth, finished green sea glass half buried in the sand a few feet into the surf.
And God showed me that finding a nugget of truth makes one hungry for more and more. A hunger that won't be satisfied until we find "IT".
And when I climbed into the car, wet and sandy, wind blown but satisfied I knew that my treasures in my canvas bag could not compare to the treasure in my heart.Walking on the beach with my Abba Daddy picking up sea treasures, picking up His treasures.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Calling

Sometimes when I set out to teach or share on a certain subject I learn more than I teach. So i was last night. I was invited to share about my connection to Haiti and about Jacmel Bay. I asked God "What should I be talking about?". Honestly, given a platform I am not at a loss for words. My problem is narrowing down so I don't have too much material. I heard God say in my spirit "Talk about what you know." Where this led was to talk about the subject of being called. I shared about Gwenn first being called to Haiti and how unlikely it was. What occurred to me that a calling is totally different than a gift or a talent. In fact, a calling I think more likely is something one thinks they are totally unsuited for. For me once again it comes back to the story of Moses in Exodus 4. He augured with God that he really could not do the thing that God was calling him to do. He feel totally inadequate. And when in obedience he threw down his staff and saw the miracles follow he began at least a little bit to understand that this "calling" was as act of obedience and had nothing to do with talent or natural ability. When God called Gwen and Nick to Haiti it was not a 'reasonable' thing for them to do. Nick was a computer whiz and Gwenn then a stay at home mom was educated in Ag science and had written articles for NC Sweet Potato website. They were not prepared to live in a third world culture and raise a bunch of kids! Nor am I a business person. FAR from it! The great thing about it is that in knowing I am not adequate I can better trust a God who is "more than enough". In/ fact in knowing that I CAN'T do this makes me less likely to lean on my own abilities and personal strengths. Most people would say I am a good mother. Why? Because I have great kids. And because being a mother came easy to me. I enjoyed it, I was capable and confident most of the time. For my adult life I have believed that being a mother and now a grandmother was my 'calling'. Only now...like this week do I understand that that is not entirely true. Now I still think that is was/is the most important thing I have ever done and would not want it any other way. I now believe that by God's grace and hand I was fashioned by the circumstances in my life to be the mother/grandmother that I became. My mother's creativity and passionate involvement in my youth, the longing for a father and a stable home, caring for my nieces and nephews when I was not more than a child myself..all of these things made me well fit for my parenting role. So in a way I suppose I could take credit sometimes for the "well dones" that I have received along the road. I was involved with and available to my children. That is why I now feel that being a parent is not my "calling". My passion, yes. My joy, forever. My honor, always. My calling?? I don't think so. As all of this is just now unfolding to me I think I get it. The reason that I can't shake off this thing that I am so unsuited for.... God asked me "What's in your hand?" And as I in obedience release that which I hold so tightly (my fear and my inability) I am beginning to understand that this is my 'calling' and as I obey I will continue to see the miracles unfold. Like Moses I will look for the cloud by day and the fire by night for I know that I need to be led and I am not able to know the path or go the path on my own ability.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Was it a morning like this?

This is a link to a blog I wrote on my first trip to Jacmel, Haiti 2 years ago this week. (link here)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Protect and guide me throught the night and keep me safe til morining light.

To read about this little girl go here and here
A little girl is touching the hearts of so many tonight. A little girl whose hopes were dashed as the judge released her to her parents. Her hope crushed when her parents released her to her abuser. Pray with me for the life and future of this beautiful child.
"Jesus, your word tells us that you go before your Father and make intercession for us. We ask you know to go to your Daddy and make intercession for Marie-Marte.We ask that you would minister to her in the night in her sleeping and in her waking. Lord we pray that you would not allow the evil one to come anywhere near her. Lord I we ask that your judgement would fall on the woman who is hurting this child and you would do what ever is necessary for her to be out of Marie's life.
Jesus I can't even imagine how you can fix this but I trust you and thank you that you can and ask that you will. Protect Marie from the scars that are on the inside. Do not allow her heart to become hard. Jesus deal with her parents. Do not allow them to continue to neglect this precious girl.
I pray for Gwenn and Nick and their children. Espically Nia.Comfort them and give them strength. Also make them weak enough to fall into your arms. I thank you that we can trust you even when we do not hear or see what you are doing.We ask that very soon you will come to the rescue this child from a life of slavery and painGive to her a hope and a future. Help Gwenn and Nick to sleep tonight and give them wisom and courage to face tomorrow."

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Impossible Dream??

When I traveled to Jacmel, Haiti in January it was for the purpose of being the "house grandmother" to 11 children while my daughter and her husband were out of the country. That was a very rewarding, exciting and empowering time. Stretching and growing far beyond my imagination. A short year ago I thought I had reached my limit of courage when I traveled to Haiti...alone! But now...well here I was going far beyond my obviously limited imagination..in Haiti without the cushion or comfort of my safety net. (Nick and Gwenn) Ok..so it really wasn't scary..it was great. Riding on a moto..taking language lessons..playing with and doctoring boo-boos for 11 children. It is fun to reach high and then find you can go higher still. And that is really what I want to blog about..reaching and allowing yourself to imagine that you can actually go to places tha tyou thought were beyond your reach. That same week I worked with my students making sea glass necklaces. I spent some one on one time with each of them to get to know them and to hear about their stories and dreams. All but one of the eight students is deaf. Being deaf in the US is hard. Being deaf in Haiti is far harder. Deaf are often shunned by society. Most are unable to communicate eailsley with family. Education is limited at best. Work is largely unavailable. At first it seemed hard to even communicate clearly my question. "What are your dreams for the future?" "If there were no limits what would you like to do?" At first the responses were shy. "I would like a cleaning job." Any job in Haiti is a good job and I encouraged this young woman in that. Most of the answers were similar. Good and noble goals but not limitless dreams. As the week progressed I began to witness a stirring..an awakening of sorts. And then the damn broke wide open. " I want to drive a car! I want to own my own car!" (My daughter seems to be the only woman in Haiti who drives so this coming from a deaf woman is a huge goal!) The others followed. "I want to own a house. No, two houses. One for me and one for my grandmother!" This from a young girl who was orphaned at an early age who was raised by her grandmother. Then there was " I want to work in a restaurant. No!! I want to own a restaurant." The dreams evolved with excitement. Finally, an my personal favorite " I want to be a teacher. I want to open a trade school for the deaf so I can help them to get work." The day before I left PP came to me to tell me that my deaf friends have a plan to meet once a week. First they will make sea glass necklaces and then they will take time each week to talk about their dreams. And to find ways to make these dreams a reality. As the roof came off the dreams had room to grow and now I find myself with bigger dreams and I am excited that God is making Jacmel Bay a reality for me. This that will move my dreams from my heart to my head and then to the sky.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

"What's in Your Hand?"

In April of 2009 I traveled with a team to Jacmel, Haiti to prepare a home for a young family who were soon to be full time missionaries there. That family was my daughter Gwenn, her husband Nick and my grandchildren Nia, Nico and Josiah. They would be establishing a home for orphaned and abandoned children.
I was at once captured by Jacmel and her people and I knew that God would purpose for me to do more than support and encourage my daughter and her family. That in itself was not hard for me once I had been to their new home. For many parents of missionaries this is a hard task and I so appreciate the pain that they experience when their children and especially grandchildren are on the field.
After the 7.0 earthquake that hit Haiti on January 12 th of last year I was left saying to God "I must do something! What can I do??" He replied in my spirit "What's in your hand?" and while I knew He was referring to the words he had spoken to Moses in the book of Exodus I also knew I did not have much to offer.
As I read and reread that story I realized that what God wanted was my commitment to obey and to use what He would/could provide. The staff in the hand of Moses was a staff. The staff in the hand of God was a miracle. A miracle that would deliver His people. Had Moses not released what was in his hand I do not believe that the miracles would have followed.
God asks us each the same question. For me the answer came when my daughter told me about walking on the dirty shores of Jacmel Bay and finding sea glass treasures with her children. I said I would like her to bring me some back to the US. She did. In fact it was about 30 pounds worth! I knew this was what was in my hand. I just did not know how it would become of worth for God's purpose. Two weeks later a two inch article appeared in my local newspaper. "Local Arts Council to offer workshop in wrapping sea glass." In the heart of God my ministry and my business ,Jacmel Bay, were born.
I took the three hour workshop and began selling two weeks later. Two months later I went to Haiti and began working with students in the deaf community teaching them what I had learned. Now, ten months later, Jacmel Bay is moving ahead with big plans and big dreams. Not because I am a wonderful sea glass artist but because I serve a wonderful creative God. Like Moses I feel shy about the honor of this position. I do not feel adequate to run a business or teach or lead. That is the truly wonderful and frightening thing for me. I am not adequate..but He is more than adequate. So I choose to release that which is in my hand and wait and see what will happen knowing that if I obey Him miracles will follow!